Monster Noodle

Focus requires clarity

Clarity requires stillness

Stillness requires resolution

Resolution requires decision

Decision requires understanding

Understanding requires order

Order requires process

Process requires discipline

Discipline requires dedication

Dedication requires purpose

Purpose requires inspiration

Inspiration requires reception

Reception requires openness

Openness requires trust

Trust requires confidence

Confidence requires competence

Competence requires knowledge

Knowlege requires instruction

Instruction requires hearing…

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen

To be perfectly clear, I’m not an advocate for either presidential nominee. My personal opinion is that we missed a chance earlier in this process to make substantive change to the train wreck that America is heading toward. With that in mind, I have to say that out of the two choices that we have, one of those choices is completely reckless.

I want to give a little background so there are no misunderstandings. I am a conservative. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in dreams and believe that we should always strive for them ( I think that the most important thing that the human race can do is find another habitable planet, hows that for big dreams?) but I don’t believe that we can neglect the responsibilities that we have taken on in order to chase those dreams. Quite simply, a check written should be a check cashed, period.

Now, to the point. Who in this race is the conservative? Listen, read, pay attention and really think. Who is responsible and who is not? It’s not a popularity contest. It’s a decision on which president and vice president will have the nuclear codes to the largest arsenal that the world has ever seen. Think about it. Think hard.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen

Nothing is more annoying than someone who raises questions without providing answers.

P.S. I hated the X-Files.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen

Being in the fun-filled world of IT is a different ballgame that it was a decade ago. With pressures coming from all angles to brutally manage cost, the role of IT manager had undergone significant changes.

Long ago in a land far away, the role of IT manager often went to the guy that had been with the company for many years as the “head geek”. This is the guy that made everyone happy with the magic that he worked with seeming simplicity. It was a time of perfect harmony. Peace and good will ruled in the hearts of all men…ahhh the good old days. 

Today’s victimIT manager has quite a different world to survive. Gone are the days of peace and merriment, replaced by what can only be described as a daily battle to make two disparate worlds play together without bloodshed. Not only must the new IT manager understand the technology, he also better have a suit, with a tie.

So, if you find yourself in the unenviable position of IT manager at this place and time in history, here’s a little advice from the peanut gallery:

Guard Pandora’s Box: A truly effective IT group must be filled with “evil geniuses”. These are the guys that, if given the time and pizza, could open a portal to an alternate universe (just because it’s cool). Without that kind of skill, an IT shop can become heavy on cost and light on results. However, the first rule when dealing with evil geniuses is to avoid the landmines that they are sure to leave behind. The object lesson here is stability. When systems begin to fail or produce unpredictable results, the clock starts ticking. A manager that finds himself in this position too often is a manager with an expiration date.

Spread More Pixie Dust: It can’t be overstated that what made IT the “land of milk and honey” was excitement. In the early days, the sky was the limit and most businesses were awe struck with the amazing things that could be dreamed up by their IT wizards. Somewhere along the way, the magic became common and understandable by the uninspired. To bring back the magic, it’s critical for the new IT manager to understand the needs of the business and fill them in spades. If the new IT manager does not inspire this charge, he will find himself on the receiving end of a grocery list from the suits. Trust in the fact that, that is not good. 

Live up to the Hype: An IT manager that does not deliver on promises is walking dead. Far too often, a project or system that had guaranteed to save the company a mint (while making lemonade) turned into a big fat sink-hole. The new IT manager must defend against this at all costs. Projects must be understood, implemented correctly and completed on time. This is the manager’s job. All too often, the new IT manager avoids daily monitoring and leaves the results up to the evil geniuses. Remember the landmines? This is the single most common reason that an IT manager begins to look in the “help wanted” section of the paper.

The final thing to remember is that the new world of IT management is not for the feint of heart. With a little luck and countless hours of hard work, you can earn some decent jack. The unfortunate thing is that you will definintely not have the time to spend it.

Until next time, happy blogging.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen

Bored? This is an interesting time waster that is oddly addictive. It’s kinda funny to have a hopped up gaming rig to play a game that you could play on a calculator but hey, until someone comes out with something original, why not?

Until next time, happy blogging.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen \\ tags: games

Been in the IT industry for a few years and looking for a good chuckle? Take a look at the latest news on outsourcing giant EDS. These folks have been filling the flesh peddling niche for years with the cheapest “globally outsourced” labor that money could buy. In the process, they have played a key role in the move to commoditize IT with plug and play workers.

Sure it’s survival of the fittest but you can’t help but get a little sick satisfaction out of the coming slash and burn that is sure to come to the top of EDS once HP begins to cull the executive herd. These are the same guys that helped countless companies streamline their labor costs by outsourcing their in-house IT staff to some other part of the world. HP should be able help EDS to “streamline its labor costs” too in the very near future. Afterall, isn’t that what EDS is all about? 

Until next time, happy blogging.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen \\ tags: Information Technology

Americans have spent the past two and a half decades on the biggest shopping spree in world history. Ranging from new houses, to new cars and everything in between, Americans now have undisputed claim on the title of the most prolific shoppers in the world. Unfortunately, as with any shopping spree, there comes a time to pay the bills. Yes, it’s true that what goes up must come down.

For several weeks now one of the most popular debates has been about the definition of a recession and if we are currently in one. The question is irrelevant. What matters is that we as Americans realize that we have some self destructive practices and that we take this time as an opportunity to fix them.

Here are a few random thoughts from the soap box that may identify some of our pitfalls and how to avoid them in the future.

Anything that does not provide value will not survive.

From the tech boom and bust in the late 90’s to the housing crunch that we’re in now, things that live on self generated hype don’t last. It’s a simple equation, if supply exceeds demand watch out. Continue reading »

written by Lochshen \\ tags: blog, political commentary, rant

If you’re a blogger and have not checked out Woopra.com, stop everything that you’re doing and get on the beta list. This is the coolest analytic tool I have seen for blogging, period.

Let’s start at the beginning. First off, Woopra is live. Yes, totally live. You can see who is on your site right now and what they are doing. Not only can you see what is happening in real time, you can stop what you are doing and chat with the user that is currently online.

Woopra’s difference is it’s ability to report in real time. Is that important? In a word, yes. A scrolling screen has always been the holy grail of console management. It puts the pro’s and con’s in your face while you are watching. It is way too easy to sleep through a log file and miss an important event. When it’s happening as you watch, you’re almost guaranteed to notice. What else do we like about Woopra? Let’s take a look.

Real time analysis allows you to see what is happening on your site at any time. Who’s there reading what and at what time. That’s pretty hoss.

You can initiate chat with anyone on your site at any time while they are online. Careful, don’t scare away the traffic.

You can see where your traffic is coming from in the world. Ok, so you can’t speak Pashtun. Apparently, they can speak English.

Woopra lets you know when you have something interesting on your site. It’s nice to hear the bell telling you that you have another visitor.

Let’s see…woopra or google. Tough choice…right. Woopra kicks the @#$ out of google analytics, in almost every way. I guess that means that google will be buying it soon, or maybe the boys at Redmond will beat them to it. Either way, I’m ready for the IPO.

Until next time, happy blogging.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen \\ tags: analytics, marketing, woopra

WARNING!!! Jargonistic Technobable Ahead…

If you have been in or around the Information Technology industry for more than a few years you are certainly aware of how the industry has changed. In essence, the IT community has gone from being the answer to the problem to the problem without a good answer. It’s really amazing to me how closely the development of IT from one generation to the next has matched the different generations of Star Trek.

V1.0: The first generation of IT folks were a little scary. This was a generation of wildly talented free spirits that truly did go “where no man has gone before. Ok, so they were generally a little socially backward for their day. Now everyone’s a geek. It’s hard to miss the parallels between the first gen. IT group and initial Star Trek seasons. Lots of genius level non-conformists doing things that had never been done. Kirk was running around challenging the gods much in the same way that this generation challenged the suits. Kirk always won, and so did they. Ahhh…the glory days.

V2.0: The second generation of IT folks were a little more mainstream. Hey, isn’t that a lot like the Second Generation of Star Trek? During this time, IT began to be taken seriously by the suits and applied to business functions. Even though the suits were still afraid of the crew, they began to realize that they could wow their bosses with new shiny toys. Everyone was happy.

V3.0: Anyone home? Hello?!?!. Now you’re in syndication. After years of Jr. suits selling impossible projects to their big suit bosses, the great big suits now believe that IT is a cost that must be managed. After the second generation of IT flourished, so many “would be” techies rushed to get into this field that this generation has become a commodity. Oh sure, you have a few tricks up your sleeve and a lot of content to pull from but you’re stuck on Deep Sleep Nine. There are a million other shows just like you so you’re pretty much nothing special. Sorry you missed the bus.

Does this mean that the great voyage “to boldly go where no man has gone before” is over? Hardly. There will always be dreamers that are pushing the envelope. What it does mean is that the IT profession as a whole has become domesticated. It’s tame, safe and about as exciting as a priceline.com commercial.  

So, what’s next for IT? I found an extremely good article about the nature of the changing IT scene. It’s not brand new and it will require you to control your ADD for a few minutes but this is great reading material if you find yourself in the minefield of modern IT. 

Until next time, happy blogging.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek: Enterprise are all registered trademarks of CBS Paramount Television. No copyright infringement is intended through the display of content on this site. All copyrighted material is included under “fair use” principles. This site is also in no way affiliated with or endorsed by CBS Paramount Television.

written by Lochshen \\ tags: Information, it, Star Trek

Over the course of the past decade or so I have noticed a trend while driving. I spend a lot of time at traffic lights. There seems to be a new one every few months at places that simply don’t need them.

New traffic lights are often implemented as a way to reduce congestion and increase safety. In the majority of cases this is probably true but in many cases, an additional traffic light only serves as a new source of “fine revenue” for the local government. When coupled with a camera system, the amount of revenue generated can be substantial over time.

Excessive traffic lights often have several negative effects that are not well considered.

Excessive traffic lights cost money that can be better utilized elsewhere. Each one of these little annoyances represents a cost that is ultimately passed on to the tax payer. A traffic study, light system, programming and control mechanism can quickly turn into a bundle of cash. It is not unheard of for the entire process of adding new lights to run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, that’s before considering maintenance and continual electrical costs.

Excessive traffic lights cost more in fuel. An excellent article was written by the Telegraph that explains some of the hidden costs of waiting in traffic for a light to change. As the cost of fuel continues upward, the placement and timing of traffic lights will have a greater impact on dollars wasted in traffic.

Excessive traffic lights cause more wear and tear on a vehicle. Stop and go traffic wreaks havoc on an automobile. Virtually every moving part of the car is adversely affected by constant stopping and accelerating. There is a reason that “highway miles” are prominently listed when a used vehicle is sold.

Excessive traffic lights cost time. Like there are not enough things to get done in a day without spending more time sitting in front of a red light. Time spent in traffic is lost time.  

Excessive traffic lights are frustrating as !#$%. Often what used to be a pleasant drive has turned into a game of jockeying for position at a traffic light. In some cases, another traffic light only serves to cause more accidents by promoting competition. No one likes to be stuck behind a traffic light that is only a few hundred feet away from the last one.

Of course it would be irresponsible to advocate removing every traffic light on the road. Many serve a necessary purpose in keeping the bad driver from making irrational decisions while driving. However, the reality is that the negative impacts of excessive or poorly timed systems are often higher than traffic planners consider. 

In the end, traffic lights serve the same purpose that laws serve, to serve you. Just like laws, when one no longer serves the common interests of it’s people it’s time to reconsider it’s value.

Until next time, happy blogging.

Megadisclaimer: Take nothing at face value. Everything on this blog is for entertainment purposes. It won’t change the world, or even your opinion in most cases. If you believe everything that you read stop reading now!

written by Lochshen \\ tags: cars, driving, political commentary